: : Two thirds [[ and one drop ]] to go... : :

When people told me that going on exchange, and experiencing a new culture, left you with I sense of appreciation. I thought I knew what to expect. What to think of this.

I thought that this appreciation would be felt towards those who had opened their hearts and their homes to me. And, probably more importantly, their lives. It didn't occur to me, nor had it ever entered my mind, that perhaps this appreciation would be spun upside-down. Onto those whom I had left.

Being welcomed into a family, and treated like family – well, to a certain extent, as there is still that feeling of hesitation, and that final conclusion that no. I cannot talk back. I cannot feel somewhat negatively towards these people – left me with a born respect towards my family here.

Those situations where you would normally find yourself being selfish or all too stubborn, rolling your eyes at some chore you thought could be done those ten minutes later have suddenly stopped bothering me. It's a strange concept to grasp when you realise that suddenly you are watching, perhaps not yourself, but someone like you, react the same way you had in the past. Watching how it effects the others around them.

You are able to see the care a mother takes in perfectly ironing and folding the family's clothes, and the pain when she sees them carelessly tossed on the floor – regardless of whether there was any intention of hurt or neglect. Or how a father may make a comment without thought of how it may effect his child.

It is only now, when I am able to drift between that mother and father, those two siblings, or perhaps those two friends who just don't get along any more, that I can truly experience both receiving ends. Like in movies where the screen shots clearly depict what each character is feeling, yet, they are blinded by all the commotion and perhaps their own emotions – perhaps even the embarrassment or maybe just the humanity of taking that next step and saying sorry, or looking beyond a simple gesture. To realise that life is complicated – so what's the point in complicating those things that are simple to begin with?

I know it may sound cliché when I say this, but this experience has made me realise that the phrase, “enjoy the simple things in life” is exactly that. Often it is overlooked. Often complicated. Human beings are complicated. I guess it is in our nature to over complicate things, strive for what we cannot have. That happy parent-child relationship, that understanding-friend that you had before, but who changed.

It's bizarre when it occurs to you that you are given all these things naturally. We just have to be cautious that we don't over-analyse things, don't overlook those folded clothes, or that smiling daughter – that hug from that certain friend.

Before now I had always looked at myself and seen a “glass-half-full” person, but being here has made me realise that that was not the case. Before there was always that little bit of an absence, that question of why not this or why not that. Always thinking that more could be done for me.

Now, especially in this last week, I have felt a real appreciation for what I have back home. Friends, those who I did over-analyse and perhaps pushed away. And most importantly family. Those times where I chose to react or perhaps put something off for later. Seeing how all this effects others, and not being able to change anything is quite a frustrating position to be in over here. When I see a friend treating another friend badly, and knowing how the rest will play out, yet not being able to do anything about it. At times I know I will do things that will perhaps contradict myself and what I'm saying, and I may not have my glass filled exactly half-way. Maybe a third. By nevertheless it's under that tap, catching each drop one by one – maybe one day just one drop will make it over that brim...